beach day!!!

batu ferringhi

love

my friend's friend posted this note. she let me read it. wow. nicely said. i guess i want to share it with everyone =)


Love.

Can anyone tell me, what exactly is love?

What is it like? How does it feel like? Do you really feel butterflies in your tummy? Can you, get all the answers on Wikipedia? On a dictionary? Or do you need to experience it to know it?

Can you demonstrate love, by answering demands? By buying expensive gifts?

Neither life nor love requires us to give up our dignity. To me, love is supportive and nurturing, not aggressive or demanding. It is protective, not possessive.
Carol♥Jason says (11:16 PM):
People might say bad things about love, that it is painful, confusing, invasive, and sometimes violent. But if you could just sit down, and search deep into your soul, and you'll know that love expands, gives, and heals.

Can you really love someone, unconditionally, when you know that they have other intentions? Can you really love one person, but still too selfish to commit, so selfish that you are still out there somewhere straying?

We all seek love, because somehow we know love bring us joy. We walk into a relationship when we are in love, but how many of us appreciate the other enough to keep the love?

"I love you enough to let you go, as long as you're happy, I'll be happy."

We can say all we want, but do we really mean it? Love is never selfish, and yet love is never selfless. I can never love someone who doesn't love me and only me, I never will.
"Love is about letting go."

How true is that? In many situations, we let go because we have to, not that we want to. Can you stay in a relationship, if you know you're partner is constantly cheating on you? You can shower your partner with all the love you can give, but what if they don't learn to appreciate you? Can you still love them?

Before we look at someone's eyes and tell them we love them, look in the mirror and ask yourself, are you doing the right thing? Do you really love, or you just pretend you love to get something out of it?

Love is a 50/50 thing. Both party needs to work on it, I can buy you flowers everyday, but remember, I don't owe you flowers.

And before you start pointing fingers, please remember that the world doesn't revolve around you. People don't owe you things, unless you have done something so great to deserve it, or unless, you have met a fool so great, that could love you unconditionally. And with a fool like that, you can start to consider yourself as the luckiest person in the world.
As I try, and try to figure out what love is all about, I'm sinking into confusion.

..........

It’s funny how things can stir up thoughts about you. And it always happens in the strangest places. Here I am, sitting in the garden, staring at the sky, thinking of you. I tried to look for the brightest star tonight, so I could make a wish. And you know, I wish for nothing but to have you here with me.

Memories are a terrible thing, sometimes. They pop up at the worst times, like a ghost on my shoulder. I can be laughing at something on television and then I’ll think of how hard you‘d laugh. What hurts more than knowing you’re not around is that I keep thinking you’re probably somewhere watching the same thing I am but with someone else.

I kept thinking, I keep wishing, that one day, you'd be here with me. My bed is empty, except for me, but I want it filled with another body, your body. An arm draped across my shoulder, two heats mingling underneath the sheets, soft tickling on my neck. Just the comfort and feeling of safety that I have when I was with you.

.............
Everynight, I squirm in bed, looking beyond the distant sky, and I don't know why, but I just can't shake the thought of you, but oh well, not that I want to. So many nights, so many hours, nights that lasted forever, nights that tore into me and ripped out every little hope I have left. I often sit here at night, writing pathetic little notes, paragraph upon paragraph of useless words, all in vain.

Every minute I spent thinking of you, missing you, is nothing but pure torture. It's like an overflowing emptiness, to have you so far away. I need to feel you against me, I want to melt in your embrace. I crave the gentle caress of you lips on my neck, and the way you whisper in my ear, that makes me weak at the knees. I want you so much right now...

I cry, but only in silence, holding my pillow tightly, in my safe arms, from an insecure soul only wanting to let you know, just how much, I miss you.


..................
I made alot of mistakes in my life,
that I sometimes look in the mirror and hated the face I saw.
I apologize if I sounded pathetic,
but think about it,
have you ever felt this way yourself?

quiz about myself

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

teenage pregnancy video

lol. a very short video.

Pictures

My pictures from kindy to secondary.

5 years old

6years old

standard 2

standard 3

standard 4

standard 5

standard 6

form 3

i don't have a class photo for standard 1 :(
while the rest of secondary is colourless in my school magazine.

my soon-to-be hairstyle

I LOVE HER HAIR SO MUCH.
sophia bush's hairstyle in one tree hill, season 5.
i copied hilarie burton's hairstyle 2 years ago.
now i don a modification of hilarie's hair.
and now, i want this hair, shown by this beautiful picture :D

Accident

Accident pics . just outside my home. if i were to explain how it happened, nobody would even understand a word i'm saying.
but i'll still tell the story. haha
one car was coming out of the 'lorong' without slowing down, stop, look, and then go.
while this other car was driving on the straight road, maybe driving fast.
then BAM. BAM. and BAM.
the car from the small lane knock into a parked car on the pavement.
the parked car is the iswara, and its position was shifted 90 degrees.

here are the pics.

Long time ago

maybe this should have been written years ago. but better late than never? sigh, late or early also wont do much help.

so i just would like everyone to know.

this uneasy feeling in me has been there for years. :(

dad wrote this letter to the star and the sun. supposed to be anonymous, but who cares. whether u're known or not, ppl still only care for themselves.

i'm happy on the outside, sad on the inside. forever. this is subjective. this is my opinion. so there will be insults and supports. whichever i receive, still dont change a thing. but what i really like to have now is some encouragement. :S

The PSD should award scholarships to SPM High Achievers based solely on excellent academic results, because these deserving candidates are those who have the best academic scores. It has been observed that these excellent students will continue to do well at a higher level, thus making their respective universities proud.

Academic results should be used as the main criteria to award students scholarships, as other methods are subjective and open to abuse.

Just like in school, every year, prizes are given to the top students who excel in their studies, and no one is saying that this system is unfair.

It must be remembered that awarding scholarships to students based on meritocracy is a fairer way.

Giving scholarships other than meritocracy will see many undeserving recipients dropping half-way through their studies and thus wasting tax-payers’ funds money and also depriving the deserving ones a place.

My daughter who obtained straight 9 1As in her 2006 SPM results failed to secure the PSD scholarship. Yet, her classmate who obtained the same results was successful due to the quota system. My daughter’s appeal to PSD and also through the MCA did not help either.

There should be enough scholarships for those who obtained straight 1As because there were less than 800 students who obtained perfect scores (1As) in 2006.

My daughter has been consistent in her studies all the way without attending any tuition. She is also good in her curriculum activities. Her participation in games at district level, national service training and despite the fact that I am also a clerical government servant was not taken into consideration.

She was then given the ‘consolation prize’ (getting a place to do matriculation instead of a scholarship to study overseas), while others have been given both the PSD scholarship and a place in matriculation.

Due to her consistency, discipline and positive attitude (good values which has been taught to her from young), she has not let the disappointment affect her. She is doing very well and has continued to achieve 4.0 CGPA in every semester.

If she had been given a chance to study overseas, competing with the top students from all over the world would bring out the best in her, thus showing her full potential.

But no thanks to the non-transparent selection by PSD, she has now lost the golden opportunity of a lifetime to study abroad.

i'm back

my exams are over. just this morning.
but i'm still so lazy to write something on my blog. maybe coz i've abandoned my blog for months! 4 months to be exact.
haha, so now i just wanna say something here.
i'm sooooooooo freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

exams exams. keep me from having a nice deep sleep. had trouble sleeping on the nights before exams. i always see numbers or words. and in my dream, i dreamt of calculating and memorizing. :S
this started last year. dunno why. spm, pmr, and upsr - i have no trouble sleeping at all. i'm getting insomnia!
hope not! haha

i still have to write a 500 word essay. sigh.
so lazy and tired.
got 200 over mails to read. many things to play in facebook. do a little research on something. watch all movies.

oh, i haven't finish my novel i started reading in december. gonna finish it :D

and one more thing! clean my room! i was tooooo lazy to do it last year. hehe. *scold myself*

i got more news to tell. i should keep it a secret first. until it's confirmed.
for now, tata.
wait for more ideas to generate in my brain. no more ideas to share with my friends now. XD

new year's day 2009

1-1-09

happy new year!!!

my new year's. i went out with angie and veney. usm friends.

different course though.

met angie during orientation week :)

met veney 2nd semester.

and now we hang out together.

and both of u owe me alot!

lol, jk.

before that, angie bought a formal shirt.

then we went in the cinema. started a few minutes later.

there's a secret. angie slept again! hahaha

dont kill me for announcing to the world :P

after the movie, we took pictures

we were all hungry, so this time we decided quickly what to eat. we headed to old town.

veney's asam laksa. smells good


angie's noodles. forgot the name

my kaya and butter thick toast

that thing could fall on someone's head.
be careful