Disappointed

*flash* what was that? flash from a camera? i don't see anyone holding a cam.
strange. a sudden frightening thought invade my mind.
*shudders* taking long strides now.
*gasps* there it was again. the flash. it was so silent. don't look back. keep moving.
without breaking my stride, i turned the corner and saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks. i stared at it in amazement.

lol. most of it was just me being in another world. i was not walking in a deserted alley or something. i was walking in a completely safe surrounding.

the flash was real though. someone was busy taking photographs. and i did see someone being the model. with pretty make-up, a perfect hairdo, in a beautiful dress, posing like a MODEL.
ahhh. can i be the one in front of the camera????? pls.. so what if i don't have the height.
doesn't need any height requirements. they just gonna capture a picture of u.

thought i could but but but... sigh
first, i need to buy a rm300 estee lauder voucher. in return, i'll receive a goody bag worth rm250 of estee lauder products. the remaining rm50 was for the make-up, hairdressing, and photo shoots.
err, i think that's what i heard.

seems appealing huh? oh, i forgot to mention the main thing. the organiser. the name of this event. so branded that got me attracted to it. hehe
Estee Lauder Model Search.

even the sales promoter asked me to go for it. but but ...
no use talking about it now, it's over :(

well, can i at least get what i want. i seem to be out of luck in everything.
anyway, i don't believe in luck, i don't believe in fate.
i just believe in logic. i'm not superstitious. everything has got a logic explaination.

if i want something to happen, i'll have to make it happen. i can't wait for it. nothing is gonna fall from the sky and onto my hands. that only happens in my dreams. dreams don't come true.
never happen to me yet. ppl only said it when they have fulfilled theirs. what if they don't. they'll have to keep their mouth shut. same as me.
ok, so, i'm not the only one with unfulfilled dreams. but i won't stop till i've got hold of what i want. it might be a little unrealistic. but who cares. it's not for others to judge.
as long as i believe i can make it happen. :(

2 choices

ummmm, communication or accounting?
i'm having trouble deciding my future
first, i hate accounts, hate it since secondary school, but i just kept doing it, i don't enjoy it, but i can do it and score. i dunno, hmm, do i want to end up in this field? and solving the same problems every single day? sounds like a secure future, but who knows...
second, communication, the subjects are interesting, at least i think i'll enjoy reading much more than accounting.
i'm still thinking, accounting is monotonous, what about communication?

what have i been doing

i'm on holiday. yay. until? i don't know either. and i don't care. but what have i been doing since i finished matrix? straight after that, i immediately went for a holiday. took lotsa pics. posted them on the net - facebook, friendster - not all though. the others are just meant for me. trinie taught me a lot about computers. u know, stuff that i should have already known. but i didn't bother to learn. i still am lazy. hehe. facebooking all the time. checking mails. in friendster too. and chatting chatting chatting. till late at night. how late, umm, till 4am? hmm, not healthy for me. but we just keep on chatting non-stop. well, tell me, can u resist it? sure not! ok, i did other things too. like searching for scholarships!! just unfair for me, urgh, for everyone here, if u understand what i mean. i don't have to mention it. morons. idiots. losers. what's the point complaining? they don't bother anyway, just wasting my breath, my time. everything i desire will not come to me, but everything i dislike will come into my life. why is this happening? why why why? i'm mad atm! grrrr. my anger boils down recently. i got a friend who makes me happy! hahaha. i'm in a fantasy world. but i keep waking up in reality world. if only i'll be there forever. like in a fairytale storybook. lalalalala. lol. i've been naughty. too naughty. in fact, excessively naughty. sigh. my little secret. ;P i daydream a lot these days. more than before. i love imagining. somehow i'm not creative. i wanna write a ghost story here. but see, i'm so damn lazy to start on it. my future. it's not bleak. just not what i want. ;( unfair man. others get what they want. not me. :'( ish. we'll see about that. life is boring. tv, computer, tv, computer... same thing everyday. like the movie 'groundhog day'. sure, it can be exciting if i'm given the chance to fulfil my dreams. i'm the only one who have unfulfilled dreams!!! under no circumstances should u discard ur dreams. i know, i won't. it must come true, or else...