it's all in the mind

oh no, i'm confused...somewhat nervous. no, extermely nervous! hahaa. sigh, it's not funny at all. why can't i make up my mind?

i need to improve myself in so many things. i need to be better. there's some dumbness in me. i wish i can be like those ppl. i know who they are. no name mentioning. they're not celebrities. hehe. and i wanna be like them. so powerful, lol, they aren't powerful, i mean they are so confident, and that makes them seem so flawless.

need to be more bold. arrgh, i'm really angry with myself. if they can do it, i can do it too. but i need more time. need to change some personality. but i've been telling myself to do that for so many years already. if only i'm better, then i'll be nearer to my goal! i won't give up, ever. no matter how long it takes. though i'd prefer it now.

i'm unique in some ways. :D proud to have some good qualities-as in attitude, i mean. lol

my main problem now. confusion. damn, if only... my heart won't be racing so fast everytime my worst fears are thrown at me. gotta fix it. i really have to. or i'll suffer. it's torturing. need a good life.

ciao. update next time.